Tales from the Fire Nation
by marvel26
Summary: Random tales set before and after World Tour. Yes folks this is a gratuitous tie-in series.
1. Let's Play

Disclaimer: I do not own the intellectual properties depicted herein. I do not own the characters portrayed. I make no claim to own any part of 'Avatar: The Last Airbender'. All intellectual properties depicted herein belong to the creators of 'Avatar: The Last Airbender.' and Nickelodeon.

* * *

Tales from the Fire Nation

Let's Play

* * *

_Sometime before World Tour…_

"A play?"

Azula snorted at her perceived notion of Katara's peasant ignorance, "Yes. That's why we're in a theatre, Wet-Fish." The waterbender snarled right back in the haughty princess' smug face.

Azula uncrossed and crossed her legs, steepling her fingers. At that moment, the stage lights and shadows hit her just right. For a second, Katara could swear she saw the old Azula smiling menacingly in the dark.

"Are you two comfortable?"

Both women looked in the direction of the warm, kindly voice.

"Yes, mother."

"Yes, Lady Ursa."

Lady Dowager Ursa chuckled, "Katara, how many times do I have to tell you? It's just Ursa." Azula mumbled from the side, "Or mom."

"Did you say something dear?"

"No. Not a peep." The princess looked around for her dumkopff brother, "Where's Zuzu with my fireflakes?" her answer was having said greasy bag of snacks dropped in her lap,

"Hey watch it dumb dumb!" She snapped as Zuko took his seat between his mother and Katara, "There. Fresh fireflakes." He monotoned. The concession line was murder. That was one experience he'd rather not go through again.

Azula wrinkled her nose at her older brother and started on her crunchy repast, "Wet-Fish, I can't reach my brother. Be a dear and thank him for me."

"What?"

"Usually, I'd zap him." Azula held up two fingers with an electrical charge, similar to that found in modern day tazers, "But you can just kiss him. Same effect I suppose."

"Kiss him?!"

Ursa patted Katara's shaking hands in a motherly fashion, "Don't tease her Azzie." Azula bristled at the mention of her mother's chosen nick name for her.

"Zuko and I are just good friends." Said Katara. Given the way she replied, it was forced and out of place. Azula sniggered, while Ursa kept up her mother's understanding. Zuko had kept mercifully quiet, for his own sake. Right then in the Royal Box, the odds were three to one against. The prince may have made some boner mistakes in the past, but even he wasn't that suicidal.

"I'm sure you are dear." Said Ursa trying out a new fangled device brought over from the Earth Kingdom. An ingenious set up of glass lenses that magnified distant objects. It was just like the telescopes used by most mariners but for both eyes.

Azula shushed them all the moment the curtains parted,

"It's starting." Katara goggled at the princess' uncharacteristic enthusiasm for a simple play. Azula wasn't what you would call a connoisseur of fine arts. Unless slamming an arrested suspect's head through a table was considered the epitome of royal culture and refinement. Then again given the family's mental history…

As if to answer Katara's unspoken question, the princess of flames merely smirked,

"Oh, I heard this one's a real cracker."

"A comedy?"

"Nope. But I'm sure you and Zuzu would enjoy it."

This time, it was Ursa who quieted them down. The play was titled, 'Love Will Find A Way.'

It opened with an actor, the kind girls would fantasize about having babies with or dripping oil over…whatever floats their boats, simply called 'The Prince'. The fact that said underwear model bore an uncanny appearance to Zuko, minus the scar, bothered Katara…a lot. Zuko, of course, did not notice.

'The Prince' was soon joined by another actor portraying his best friend, a warrior from the south. This one Zuko did notice and despite the narrator titling the new character as simply, 'The Warrior', he just had to point it out to Katara,

"I think he's got your brother down pat. He's even got the vacant stare and mindless drooling right."

The story continued with the 'Prince' lamenting his life. That despite being the second most powerful being in existence, the first being the evil Lighting Sorceress, and having untold riches his heart was still empty for he had never known true love. The 'Warrior' suggested that the 'Prince' look beyond the daughters of nobles, for they were hollow and soulless, only concerned with what they could take from him and in one particularly odd case, as many fruit tarts as she could carry. This burst of wisdom from the play's comedic character was soon played for laughs when asked by the 'Prince' on where the 'Warrior' gained such insight.

To which the 'Warrior' replied that peasant women are more…fun. The men in the audience chanced a quick chortle before being glared into silence by their wives, lovers, girlfriends and in some sad cases their mothers.

"Zuko."

"Sorry mother."

And so, the 'Prince', with hope in his otherwise empty husk of a heart, set out into the country side to find his bride. Naturally, the crass idiot came along as well. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months. All of which were visualized by smooth, flawless backdrop transitions. Azula whispered that the special effects budget must have been a bomb. Her whispers became quiet sniggers when she watched Katara's eyes widen at the next scene.

After months of fruitless searching, well…fruitless for the 'Prince' in any case. The 'Warrior' had women throwing themselves at him, the duo stopped by a river. One said to be cursed by the evil Water Spirit that dwelled in its waters. The 'Prince' dismissed such claims as rumors spread by the weak of will and heart and proceeded to disrobe to bathe in its crystal clear waters.

Every hot blooded woman in the audience, plus a few men, swooned as the 'Prince', in a manner that some would later call shamelessly servicing the fans, flaunted his well chiseled body. Of course, being a semi-family play, the actor stopped before taking his pants off. Zuko was shocked when he heard Katara moan indignantly when the actor toyed with the drawstring of his pants but did not seal the deal. The waterbender quickly turned her face away to hide her embarrassment at being caught ogling.

The 'sky' turned dark and water churned, once again the special effects budget limit was placed in the spotlight, seeing as real waterbenders were hired to bend the waters of the river to their will. The narrator ominously introduced a new character, The 'Water Spirit'. The actress playing the 'Spirit' was gorgeous. With a face as fair as the moon and a body whose curves flowed like the tide, the 'Water Spirit' was a knockout. Both Spirit and Prince locked eyes and while the Prince was instantly smitten, the Spirit had less than amorous intentions. She took offense at the Prince for defiling her river, the sacred waters that made her body, and cursed him with a mark so that he may never find true love. Which was very unreasonable since the 'Warrior' was also taking a bath in the background and looked like he was relieving the contents of his bladder, if the actor's expression was anything to go by.

Azula hissed viciously when a splash of red dyed water was bent by the special effects team to indicate the scarring of the 'Prince',

"Yes! You make him your bit…" Azula never got to finish her sentence as Ursa put her finger to her lips and shushed her.

The Spirit then cast the Prince out of her river but the Prince was smitten and would not leave. The 'Spirit' tried every trick in her book to drive the 'Prince' away. Curses, physical harm, magical spells, everything save for killing him.

Days turned into weeks and weeks into months. Over time, the 'Spirit' gave up and seemed to grow accustomed to the duo but she still would not return the affections of the 'Prince' though she harbored a tiny inkling of respect towards the young monarch for enduring her wrath. Not many beings would make such a boast of standing against her and live to tell the tale.

Respect that became friendship when the 'Prince' stopped a band of farmers from fouling the river with the wastes of their cattle. Friendship slowly became love after many nights of whispered confessions and loving embraces. But the Spirit knew that they could not be for she was of the immortal and he was just a man.

The 'Warrior' took the spotlight for a brief few scenes with his befriending of a local 'Earth Troll' that lived near the river. Katara could not help but be reminded of her dusty earthbending 'little sister'; probably driving her straight laced parents mad.

The narrator went on to tell of the 'Earth Troll's' sad tale. That she was actually a beautiful princess who was trapped there by an evil sorceress. Over time, the princess began to take less care in her appearance and eventually became the disheveled mess as she was now. Zuko squinted, trying to make out whether the person playing the Troll was male or female, even with the binoculars he couldn't tell.

Like every other woman the Warrior encountered, the Troll quickly fell head over heels in love with him, in hope that the Warrior would be the one to free her from her curse. With a new companion in tow, the Warrior made his way back to the lovers of the play only to bear witness to the dramatic scene where the villain or villainess as was the case, of the play was introduced by the narrator.

The Evil Sorceress, portrayed by a woman one could only describe as venomously beautiful, had watched the love between the Prince and the Water Spirit for a long time and grew jealous that she had never and might never experience such tenderness and unconditional love. The vile creature snatched the spirit from her lover's arms and disappeared into the night.

Hoping to cement her place with the Warrior, the Earth troll made tell of a Forest Witch that dwelled nearby. Said witch would know how to combat the sorceress. But the best laid plans…

It was now the Warrior's turn to be struck by love's arrow. The Forest Witch was unlike any other woman he'd been with. For one thing she wasn't fawning over him, in fact she held him in contempt and disdain. Also her beauty being of almost otherworldly nature played a part.

The Witch agreed to help as the Water Spirit was a dear friend. The Prince took her advice and set off to free his love, leaving the Warrior and the Earth Troll behind for the Witch had made it clear that this was his journey alone to make. The next scene told of the Earth Troll's heartbreak when she stumbled across the Warrior's confession of love for the Witch. It seemed that love was not for one such as her. There was no love for the dusty, muddy child of the earth.

Zuko thought he heard a few sniffles and noses being blown as the audience shared in the Troll's lament. In fact, a few of those sniffles came directly from his left.

"Katara? Are…are you crying?"

"She's so sad and lonely." She said wiping her eyes with a handkerchief, given to her by Azula of all people. "I can relate." Said the Princess, though she showed no signs of tearing up like the rest of the audience.

There was a scene change and they were back to the Prince confronting the Sorceress for the life of his love. In a battle that blew other plays out of the water, the Prince was forced to his knees while the Sorceress cackled.

"Her's is an evil laugh." Said Katara venomously. Azula shrugged, "I think she's got it down perfect."

In an attempt to cause the Prince even more suffering, the Sorceress made an attempt on the Water Spirit's life with a power lighting strike, made possible by using light focused through multiple lenses for effect. The Prince leapt in front of the fatal attack to shield his love. Though successful, he was mortally wounded and no amount of healing from his beloved Water Spirit could change that. In revenge, the waters rose and crashed down on the Sorceress seemingly killing her.

Eyes welled up with tears as the Water Spirit put forth her best acting. Breaking the hearts of the audience as she wailed the loss of her heart. Even Zuko couldn't help himself.

"Are you crying?" Asked Katara dabbing her own eyes. "No. No. I've just got a migraine. It's the lighting, it makes my head hurt." He retorted trying to hide the hitch in his voice as he feigned rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Finally to reiterate the title of the play, love did find a way. For if the Water Spirit could not become of flesh and blood to be with the Prince, with his death he could now be with her forever as a spirit.

Katara gasped when the lovers shared a searing kiss on stage, never parting as the curtain dropped slowly to signify the end. Her head was still in Romance mode as she gazed wistfully at the lovers on stage,

"I wish my love life was like that."

Zuko cleared his throat, "Yeah right. This is all fictional. Like something you find in a cheap tacky romance novel."

Azula chuckled, "Oh yeah. You'd know about those wouldn't you Zuzu? By the way, I want my cheap tacky novels back. And don't get the pages dirty this time."

* * *

Ripped from the deleted chapter 10 of World Tour. Thought I'd collect all the Fire Nation related scenes into a series of World Tour tie-in oneshots.

Also a cookie for guessing where the title of this bit comes from. And no it's not because there's a theatrical play in it.


	2. Pass the Brain Bleach

Disclaimer: I do not own the intellectual properties depicted herein. I do not own the characters portrayed. I make no claim to own any part of 'Avatar: The Last Airbender'. All intellectual properties depicted herein belong to the creators of 'Avatar: The Last Airbender.' And Nickelodeon

* * *

Tales from the Fire Nation.

Pass the Brain Bleach.

* * *

_Sometime before World Tour…_

It was the middle of summer. The worst heat wave to hit the capital city. It was so bad that the inmates of the Boiling Rock willingly volunteered for Cooler isolation.

"Azula! Stop zapping me!"

"Why don't you just redirect it? Huh? Come on, redirect it."

Zuko's body jerked to the left as his dear sister poked his right side with her electrically charged index finger. Nothing serious just a mild zap. It served its purpose. To annoy the crap out of her dear big brother.

"Azula! Quit it!"

Azula sneered at him, "I'm making up for lost time! It's my duty to torment you, my big brother, as a younger sister."

"When you were six you had those two man-girls from the academy hang me by my underwear from a flag pole! I was walking funny for a week!" He yelled back. So engrossed in announcing the lesser known adventures of his young life Zuko failed to notice a trio of newcomers.

"And this is Prince Zuko. Always a source of refined conversation. You remember him don't you Gran-Gran?"

Azula shoved her brother aside, none to gently, "Move moron." to see just who had been foolish enough to invade the inner workings of the palace. It was no surprise to her to find their resident waterbender before them dressed for work. With Katara were her grandparents, fresh off the boat from the South to attend the yearly global summit.

"And this is Princess Azula." Azula put on her best public face, in other words, she tried her best not to look like she wanted to steal rock candy from babies and eat kittens. "Charmed." She said giving Kanna and Pakku a dip of her head as a sign of respect to the elderly. Truth be told, she wasn't doing this out of respect, she saw an opportunity to collect more dirt on Katara and who better to start fishing for blackmail than from Katara's own family.

Kanna was on her like white on rice, startling the princess as the venerable water matriarch began appraising Azula with a scrutinizing eye. Azula yelped when Kanna prodded her hips,

"You should eat more my dear." Chided Kanna, "You're just skin and bones. You won't be getting many babies through those skinny hips." Kanna went off on a tangent, "I hope you're not skimping on meals too Katara."

"Gran-Gran!" Katara hissed, face flushed, knowing just what her grandmother was getting at. Pakku laughed jovially, "Now now Katara. You're grandmother's just saying what's on all our minds." Kanna smiled to her husband, "Quite right. And you're not going to give me many great-grandchildren with these." To make her point, Kanna held her grand daughters hips and shook them, much to the latter's great embarrassment and to the Fire siblings great amusement.

"Now Suki on the other hand…" Katara groaned, knowing her grandmother would start gushing about her friend's child birthing hips, "I raised your brother right. That's all I'll say."

"Gran-Gran, it's her armor. It makes her look bigger. Suki's my size."

"No, no. She's ripe. I've got 'The Eye' for these things."

Katara sighed in defeat, "Yes Gran-Gran."

Azula snickered, "I guess the old proverb is right. There's always a bigger mountain. You dominate Zuzu and in turn your grandmother smothers you. And I'm guessing the gentleman over here…" She turned to Pakku who was currently withering under his wife's glare, daring him to agree with the Princess, "Is the devoted husband I'm sure he is."

Kanna nodded, "Thank you for the kind words Princess. Now where are the kitchens? I've brought some whale blubber and sea prunes. Going to have to put some meat on your bones." She pointed her finger at both young women,

"Both of you."

"Oh would you look at the sun?" said Katara hastily, trying to change the subject, "I'd better get you to your rooms Gran-Gran. We wouldn't want to be late for…"

"Hush child. Let your Gran-Gran fuss over you for a spell."

"Gran-Gran…" Katara exasperated.

Azula was inclined to empathize.

* * *

Katara had taken her grandparents around a corner, in the direction of the kitchens, as per her grandmother's orders. Now as embarrassed as she was about the whole hip thing a few moments ago, she was actually overjoyed to have her grandparents with her. She hardly ever got to see them. She cherished every opportunity when she returned home every summer for visits.

Except this summer when Kanna and Pakku decided to come over instead. Hakoda was supposed to be heading the Southern delegation but a sudden onset of Frost Fever put paid to that. Nothing serious if you get it as an adult but as a child, there would be complications along the way. Katara often wondered if Sokka's own case of Frost Fever resulted in him acting the way he did. In any case Frost Fever was highly communicable and the poor chief had to be quarantined. It's always a sad sight to see a grown ass man be told to go to his room by his elderly mother. We're lucky Hakoda got married, had kids and left for an extended period of time due to the war, other wise…I dunno…Norman Bates of the Avatar world anyone?

The Fire sibs had tagged along because 1) they really had nothing better to do. They weren't as involved in the global summit as their uncle and mother Actually, it was more due to folks being unnerved around Azula and the fragrant aroma of raw sewage that sometimes clung to Zuko. Zuko was chief city engineer for the sewage systems while Azula was the head of city law enforcement that broke her own laws to bring in criminals. Who'd want Dirty Harriet and Stinky the Septic Tank Cleaner there?

And 2) because Kanna made them. If an elderly woman can cow TWO master waterbenders into submission by raised eyebrows alone…you do not mess with said elderly woman.

"The kitchens are right…" Katara stopped at the sound of giggling. But not just any old giggling...well...actually old giggling was the correct term for it. For right in the middle of the kitchen courtyards, Duchesses Li and Lo were twittering over something.

And much to Zuko and Azula's horror, as evidenced by the younger sister's outcry of now having to wash her eyes and brain with gravel and hot coals, that something was in fact two some ones.

The mad king of Omashu and their dearest uncle to be exact.

Having a friendly bending duel before tea time.

In as little apparel as possible.

Didn't help matters any as both elders had worked up quite a sweat and were very much glistening. The shine of their manly muscles must have been most mesmerizing as even Kanna watched with wide shining blue eyes,

"Oh my." She breathed. The twin sisters took no notice of the newcomers as their conversed,

"Oh praise Agni for this wondrous day." Said Li.

"Praise Agni indeed, sister." Agreed Lo, "And the best part is we won't have to say 'If only we were twenty years younger.'"

Zuko faked a cough to muffle the words, "Twenty? Try a hundred." Pakku, on the other hand, wasn't as awed of his fellow White Lotuses, especially since his wife was making googly eyes at them.

"Muscles and size aren't everything." Mumbled the master waterbender as he crossed his arms in a huff.

Azula held her hand over her mouth, "I think I just threw up in my mouth a little." Mumbled the princess as she stumbled against her brother. Katara cringed as if in pain as she covered her eyes. Zuko sighed, "You think this is bad? I've seen uncle getting out of a hot spring…before he lost the weight!"

That little tidbit, plus accompanying mental image courtesy of over active imaginations, pushed the younger women over the edge. Azula shoved Zuko aside roughly as she bolted for the privy for a well deserved vomit whilst Katara could only whimper in fright, something about having Toph's eyes to be a merciful relief right now.

* * *

Ripped from the deleted chapter 11 of World Tour.


	3. Arrested Development

Disclaimer: I do not own the intellectual properties depicted herein. I do not own the characters portrayed. I make no claim to own any part of 'Avatar: The Last Airbender'. All intellectual properties depicted herein belong to the creators of 'Avatar: The Last Airbender.' and Nickelodeon.

* * *

Tales from the Fire Nation

Arrested Development

* * *

_Some time after World Tour..._

"Good Tui! Can't I leave the two of them alone?"

Katara was in rare form that evening. She'd spent a day dealing with what she consider to be brobdingnagian amounts of bureaucratic red tape, enough to choke a sky bison, at the World Summit. All she wanted to do after a hard day's fighting through the swamp of bureaucracy was a hot bath, a comfy bed and maybe a bit of steamy romance literature before bedtime. But no, an already crappy day could only have a crappy ending.

And here it was.

Bailing her supposedly elder, more mature and responsible brother out of the slammer. Oh and Zuko as well.

As gleefully informed by the arresting officer, Azula herself. In fact, the Fire Princess slash Head of City Security had deemed it her esteemed honor to notify Katara in person. Whilst Katara was mired in political doodoo for the better part of the day, The Fire siblings were exempt and her own brother just magically decided to skip out on her as well. Azula went about her day as per normal…well as normal as being Judge, Jury and Executioner upon the citizenry could be. Sokka decided to partake of his favorite past time: Shopping and somehow roped Zuko along.

Azula skimped on her verbal recount of the arrest. Apparently at some point of their shopping extravaganza, Sokka had taken Zuko out for drinks. That set off a red flag in her mind. Zuko never drank. The notion of it all being a henious Azula plot was growing larger in her mind, until she found them. Or rather just Zuko. Sprawled in the largest cell available.

"Only the best for my anarchic brother." Said Azula, banging on the bars with a Komodo Rhino riding crop, "Step lively Four-Seven-Three-Nine. You have a visitor."

"You put your brother on file?"

"Of course. Every piece of gutter trash that comes in is profiled. Zuzu's processing was a lot faster than most. Mostly because I used a family picture instead of having an artist do up his mug shots."

Rubbing her temples, Katara asked the all important question, "And where's MY brother?"

Azula twirled the riding crop in her right hand, casually waving down the corridor with her left, "Still in Processing."

"You said you brought them in an hour ago! What's he still doing in there?"

In answer to Katara's question, Sokka or rather his voice echoed out from the inky darkness followed by…

"The Boulder apologizes but The Boulder gets cold hands when nervous."

Azula watched Katara's expression change from ticked to shockingly intrigued before answering the waterbender's silent question with that disgustingly fake friendly smile that civil servants use,

"We're an equal opportunity organization."

-------------------------------

"Disturbance of the peace, inciting a riot," Katara read out the list of charges in an unenthused narrative, "Unlawful gathering, destruction of public property…defacing a royal artifact?"

Azula grinned as she with her legs propped up on her desk and hands behind her head,

"I won't say what happened to Zuzu's clothes exactly but your brother did seem very much attached to them. _Very_." The princess mimed a very suggestive gesture.

"Oh Gods…" Katara shuddered and continued down the list, "Littering…failure to signal before turning…operating a carriage without a license…STEALING CANDY FROM A BABY?!"

"Oh, that's mine." Said Azula, "I figure at some point Zuzu MAY have stolen some of my sweets when I was still a baby. Or was it the other way around?" She gave Katara a sad look, "I mean you understand right? We're younger sisters and big brothers can be so mean sometimes."

Tired and just down right cheesed off with everything, Katara dropped the papers back on the desk,

"So what's bail set at?"

"Well, seeing as how you're practically family..." Katara wrinkled her nose at Azula's teasing, "And I am in a good mood…"

"Oh just ask for my first borne already." Mumbled the Waterbender.

"I didn't know Zuzu already…"

"Just get on with it!"

"Fine, your brother's free to go….once the Boulder finishes…"

"Sokka. Zuko. Out. Now."

Azula chuckled as Katara began grinding her teeth, "That's what I like about you Wet-Fish. You're becoming one of us." She tapped the younger bender on the one with a manicured finger,

"Okay, your meaty brother and I do mean meaty," Katara grimaced at the leering gaze Azula cast back down the holding cells, absently slapping the riding crop against her palm, "Is free to go. Zuzu on the other hand, I'll be keeping."

"What for?"

"He's being held on charges of vigilantism."

"Eh?"

Azula rolled her eyes, sighing, "Oh please like you don't know he's been running around at night as," She put up air quotes, "'The Blue Spirit.' I mean Uncle told Mom and me all about their adventures. Two days after you arrived, some costumed nut in a demon mask starts dumping criminals in rivers and storm drains. And has been for the past year. Obviously Zuzu's been trying to attract you using a romantic alter ego. You know the type, dark, brooding, mysterious, filled with inner pain at some long ago tragedy that defined his entire mission in life…nay, his very existence. The type most girls would soil themselves over just at the mere sound of his deep gravelly voice that speaks volumes about the dark world that he lives in…"

Katara didn't know whether to interrupt at this point but seeing Azula going into a sort trance during her description prompted her to choose the better part of valor,

"Uh….yeah. What does this have to do with Zuko?"

"What? Oh. Um...Zuzu's the Blue Spirit and he's been doing it to seduce you. The palace staff has witnessed him going to your balcony every night. Normally I wouldn't care but he's been busting up some of my own operations."

"I…Well, he's been catching criminals. Isn't that good? I mean your troops have half their work cut out for them."

"I wanted to bash their faces myself! I'm not letting some clown in tights show me up. Especially when it's Zuzu! If he wants to crack some heads to impress you he should work for me! Plus we might get copy cats and then someone might really get hurt."

Katara held her face in her hands in defeat, "So what are you going to do to him actually?"

"Hold him in lock down till tomorrow. My men are currently about to raid a string of gambling dens. I need to show the public that the Royal Security Force doesn't need Zuzu's help."

"Fine. I'll take Sokka and then you can go torture Zuko."

Azula grinned, "Well I'm glad we can settle this reasonably." Katara gave her a look, "You're locking up your own brother simply because he _might_ have made your troops look like fools." She said flatly, "Yeah, I call that most reasonable."

"He did cause a disturbance this evening. You know, the drunken debacle _you're _brother was involved in as well?"

"Whatever. Just get Sokka out here."

* * *

"Farewell puny water boy. The Boulder shall miss your girlish screams."

Azula shot the big man a disgusted look as he waved farewell to the retreating water siblings, "Oh Agni, you didn't…."

"The Boulder does not roll that way. The Boulder just likes water boy's girly screams. They are funny."

Azula nodded, "Yeah. They are funny." Then she glared at him, "I told you I wanted to 'interrogate' him myself."

"The Boulder advises the Chief to seek therapeutic help."

"Oh shut up and get the men geared. We're going crime busting."

* * *

And busting makes her feel good.

Or it would have if someone else hadn't already done the busting already.

"Oh you have got to be…" Azula ground her teeth at the carnage before her. Barely conscious bodies lay sprawled over tables, half eaten food splattered against the wooden walls of the den dripped slowly to the floor. And none of it was her doing. Oh you would not believe how cehated she felt.

"Ma'am…The suspects have been neutralized."

"Yes. I can _see_ that."

* * *

"No, ma'am. He was in his cell the whole time."

"Are you sure?!"

The guard visibly swallowed but stood firm, "Yes, ma'am. I was standing here the whole time. All he did was just lie there, still drunk of his gourd and mumble something about Lady Katara. I can't repeat what he said in front of your highness, it's not fit for decent ears."

"No. Nevermind. I don't want to know. I get all the unresolved sexual tension from them at home already."

"Oh do you now?"

Azula turned towards the new arrival, "What do you want Wet-Fish?"

Katara smiled sweetly, "Oh nothing. Just that Lady Ursa told me to come get you to for supper. She knows how dedicated you are to your job but all the same…"

Azula stuck a finger under Katara's nose in accusation, "You know something. If Zuzu's not the Blue Spirit, then…you must…"

"Hahahahaha! Evil do-ers beware! The Blue Spirit flies tonight!"

Both Katara and Azula stared bewildered out the window. Blinking in disbelief as the Blue Spirit dropped off the roof he made his cheesy proclamation.

"You were saying?" Said Katara breaking the following silence.

"Rrrr…guard!"

"Yes ma'am!"

"Let my brother out. And get everyone after that costumed nutcase!" Azula dragged Zuko out and dumped him in Katara's arms, "Here. Take your pet. I'm going spirit hunting. Tell mom not to wait up."

"I will. Have fun." Katara nodded in fake sweetness, hefting Zuko up, "You are more trouble than you're worth." She told him as he mumbled something under his alcohol soaked breath. "You're lucky I covered for you tonight."

He slurred, "Thanks…" Katara could only sigh as she plodded back to the palace, "Come on. I'd better bend all that alcohol out of you before we go save my brother from Azula's clutches. And no I won't be your Painted Lady sidekick. Not in that see through handkerchief you call a dress."

"No Painted Lady?"

"No Painted Lady."

"Aww…"

"Oy…the things I do for you."

* * *

Expanded from a short segment from the deleted chapter 12 of World Tour.


	4. Training Day 2

Disclaimer: I do not own the intellectual properties depicted herein. I do not own the characters portrayed. I make no claim to own any part of 'Avatar: The Last Airbender'. All intellectual properties depicted herein belong to the creators of 'Avatar: The Last Airbender.' And Nickelodeon

* * *

**Tales from the Fire Nation.**

**Training Day 2**

* * *

_Before World Tour…_

Summer time and livin' is easy. Well as easy as it can get during the hottest season of the year and you just so happen to room and board with the world's foremost family of pyromaniacs….

"DIIIIIE!"

Katara yelped as the air around her became spontaneously charged with static, frizzing her hair and causing her to drop her ink and brush utterly ruining her painstakingly penned Inter-national Water Tribe-Fire Nation Trade bill. This was her first official act as Ambassador to the Fire Nation and it was ruined. Her first assignment which she poured countless nights into was completely mucked up. Her first thought was to stick her head out the window and hurl vile curses upon the offending party or parties.

"Hold still and FRY!"

That idea was dashed by a wayward streak of lighting just narrowly missing her window by way of mere inches just as she moved to push it open. A couple of explosions punctuated the previous statement.

"Oh yeah…" Mumbled the Water Bender noting the noon sun beating down mercilessly. She sighed trying to fix the inky mess splattered across the table and her dress bearing in mind that she was living in a world of opposites. Where up was down, black was white and that when the sun is out the Fire Benders will prey…

On each other.

The sizzle and stench of static and ozone told the tale of yet another whiffed lighting strike by the Princess of Pain and Punishment. Katara rolled her eyes and spoke to the ceiling as if the grandiosely decorated housing feature would answer her oft repeated question,

"Why? Why did I take this job?"

A coarse feminine voice broke her train of navel…err…ceiling gazing.

"What do you think you're doing Azula?! Stopping being a one-trick Ostrich-Pony! And Zuko! Stop running like a Leopard-Wolf cub with your tails between your legs and FIGHT BACK!"

Katara had to admit, it was jarring to view Lady Ursa in the role of Drill Sergeant Nasty. It was an unexpected side to the usually placid and loving matriarch of the Royal House of Fire. But not completely out of the question as the ever progressive Fire Nation was a nation of warriors ever since time in memorial.

Mandatory military service for males started at the age of eighteen. Thirteen if one was born a Fire Bender. Individuals then mustered out and placed in the reserves after the requisite three year service. If you were born a Royal the army was your second home. Women were no obligated to serve but were encouraged to do so. In any case martial training began the moment the individual was strong enough to throw a punch. Just about every citizen knew some form of self defense be it armed or unarmed, bender or not.

A sharp contrast to the Water Tribes. Though the South had the benefit of having both her and Suki, with her crew paying periodic visits, to help change the perceived norm of women only belonging in the kitchens. With Suki it was quite literal. The girl could burn water.

The North? Ehhh…not so much. Not since Master Pakku moved to the South and brought most of his like minded New Age students with him.

Katara felt another static shift in the air. And a big one at that. Made her skin crawl and prickle. She made a note not to touch any metal objects till the proverbial storm had passed with the sound of a thousand cracking bullwhips following a flash of energy that seemed to turn the clear sky dark coupled with a thunderous roar.

Without thinking Katara headed for the door and reached for her ever present water skin, part of her just knowing someone, meaning Zuko, was going to need some attentive healing, meaning a lecture on why sensible people do not stand in front of lightning strikes. To her surprise as she descended the stairs and finally caught a good look at what had transpired in the training yard. The ground was scorched and looked as if Toph had gone on an earth ripping rampage.

Her attention was then brought to her right where Azula stood hunched over and thoroughly spent. Panting and sweating due to over exertion. But despite her bedraggled form the Princess could still manage a devilish smirk knowing that she'd once again beaten her brother.

Or did she?

To everyone, save Ursa's, surprise, the prince was still standing with a smoking arm and palm outstretched when the dust settled. Standing but in visible pain. The prince hadn't re-directed his sister's attack. He'd blocked it.

Painfully.

"What? Are you insane? You were supposed to…" Azula didn't finish her sentence; she got back into her attack stance upon seeing her brother do the same. Katara couldn't help but note that even after all these years, Zuko could never successfully generate lighting. Which was supposed to be the next level of the Fire Bending arts. No, he instead chose to refine what he already knew. And as the ground would show evident, with devastating effect.

Ursa's call to begin started the next round of sparring. Usually the siblings would face off against their Uncle in turn. However Firelord by proxy was off somewhere, probably devising a plan to get his nephew to finally assume the throne. Occasionally their mother would take one of them in hand and proceed thoroughly wipe the floor. She was Avatar Roku's grand daughter after all. Even if Ursa hadn't been able to see her grandfather alive, his power clearly flowed in her veins. The reason for her able to best her children in combat? Unpredictability. Years living in exile in the Earth Kingdom led her to mix both fighting styles, switching between them on the fly and using physical attacks as opposed to bending on occasion.

Katara had to chuckle remembering a particular session where Zuko caught the business end of his mother's high kick to the jaw sending him spiraling down for the count.

As to why she'd rarely displayed such prowess?

Obfuscating stupidity.

Or rather obfuscating royal position. As Queen of the nation it would not do for her to be seen in such a violent light by the general public. Plus, back in the day her family had gone to great lengths to hide their blood relation to Roku in fear of further attacks from the House of Sozin.

Kaatar winced as the two Fire siblings clocked each other across the jaws simultaneously. It was such a comedic cliché. Azula recovered first, crouching down in a leg split before sweeping both legs across in a wide arc in hopes of tripping her brother. He countered by kicking her shins as they swung, hard enough to stop her, and obviously not enough to break the bone. After all he was her big brother.

Gritting her teeth, Azula rolled back along the ground, in case Zuko decided to follow up on the opening he'd made. In which he did, by kicking an arc of fire just over the space she'd been in not two seconds ago. It was a risky move with the kick's momentum causing him to expose his back for a brief moment. But a brief moment was more than enough for Azula. Hand springing from her crouched roll, she launched herself legs first at him in flaming scissor kick. Unable to defend him self adequately, Zuko bore the brunt of her left foot to the middle of his shoulder blades while rolling with the force of the blow, letting it swing him around and catch her in the midsection with a heel kick to the ribs.

Katara mentally kept score of how many wounds she'd have to heal. Though after their sparring sessions, the Royal family would typically patch themselves up barring any severe bone breaks. Thankfully none were intentionally made and most were self inflicted. Such as Azula breaking her arm in botched attack from a previous session. And let me tell you the Princess was none to happy to be getting treatment from the Water Bender. Sure she was a little thankful that she kept the use of her arm, but it irked her that she was getting aid from the woman who unknowingly danced the flirty fandango with her equally dense brother on a daily basis.

Brining her focus back to the fight, Katara watched as both fighters broke off and began to edge in circles around each other. She swore she could hear the creaking of bones as Zuko rolled his shoulders easing out the kick just applied to them and thought Azula tried not to show it, the kick to the ribs had done it's damage.

Ribbons of electricity arced around Azula's hooked fingers, just has flames danced about Zuko's fists. Without so much as a telegraphed movement, Azula spun around letting her lighting arcs lash out in an impromptu whip. Unlike fire and water whips, or in Toph's case earth ribbons, lighting whips were a one shot deal, unless the user could maintain the energy needed to keep them material.

Azula worked around that by simply not stopping in her movements. Her spins and footwork making her out to be dancing in a shower of lethal light than fighting. Zuko felt the sharp bites and stings of his sister's whips across his block arms and midsection. He knew she wouldn't stop anytime soon. Not of her own accord anyway.

Remember how it was mentioned that Zuko could never generate lightning? That his first attempts oh so long ago blew up in his face?

Well, he took that concept and ran with it.

Swing his arms wide open creating a moderately sized explosion of super heated air and fire, he managed to force his sister back and disrupt her concentration and hold over her attack. He followed that up with an upwards standing kick that shot a quick ball of fire towards her.

The fireball was slow and ridiculously easy to avoid. But this was an old dance for Azula. At any moment the fireball would fizzle out. It was meant to be a distraction, allowing Zuko to close in for harder hits. She'd see his fireball and raise him one of her own stronger patented blues.

The result was not what she expected. Instead of completely engulfing Zuko's red and orange flames or even negating it, the whole mix exploded blowing her back. Temporarily stunned and blinded, Azula could only keep her guard up for her brother's inevitable follow up.

True to form, and like a Vulture-Crane circling a dying animal, Zuko was on her an instant. He unleashed a flurry of flame charged punches and kicks rained down on her before grabbing her by the collar; lifting her up with one hand.

"Boom." He whispered just before turning Azula's world into one of flame, heat and explosive force. As previously stated he'd used the least amount of force for fear of really hurting her.

As she fell out of her trajectory arc smoking with small fires on her clothes, there was only one thing in Azula's pain filled psyche.

Revenge.

Tucking into a roll in mid air, Azula landed feet first, crouching down and springing at Zuko. All the while a massive build up of static charge enveloped her body. Zuko tried to sidestep the seemingly suicidal assault. But Azula never intended to hit him dead on; instead she dropped down into a familiar leg split, however this time instead of sweeping at Zuko's feet she launched herself into a hand standing kick with both feet connecting with his lower jaw, releasing bursts of electricity as each foot impacted. Still balanced on her hands, she spun her legs in a wide circle, clocking him tree more time across the face. Finally she locked her ankles around his neck and with an overhead slam, dropped him on his back in a spectacular blast of lighting.

And that was it.

Flat on their backs, neither one had the strength left to even stand. For a moment Katara forgot she was in the Fire Nation, this was common place and that Lady Ursa was the kindest soul she'd ever met and like a second mother to her. Instead she could only boggle at how a mother would let her two children utterly destroy each other in such a violent display of power.

Her thoughts were dashed when Zuko began to groan, rolling on to his side in pain, "Damn, Azzie," Using a childish nickname from yesteryear, "I thought we weren't fighting for real."

Azula only raised her hand in a very un-flattering and un-becoming gesture.

"Azula." Admonished Ursa, walking towards her two children with damp towels and healing salves. Her stern countenance swiftly softened, "That was an impressive move."

"Learned it by watching Ty Lee jump around like a Monkey-Poodle." Deadpanned the Princess. Ursa sighed, turning to her eldest,

"And when did you come up with yours Zuko?"

The prince winced forcing himself to sit up, "I just imagined Azula as Katara's idiot brother or back when Aang was still an annoying kid."

"You two should speak better of your friends." Chided Ursa, helping Azula to her feet. "Especially Katara's brother." Ursa smiled at Katara, surprising the Water Bender at being aware of her presence the whole time.

"He's not my friend." Said Azula.

"In any case. You two are done." She fussed over them, shooing them off the training yard, "Get cleaned up and dressed for tea. Best clothes. Katara will be joining us."

"Mother! I'm a grown man!"

"Mom! I'm a grown woman!"

"And you'll still be my babies no matter what." With that she shot a double blast of purplish-blue fire at their feet with one sweep of her arm, "Now get cleaned."

Katara couldn't help but giggle at the sight of the Fire Nation's best being treated like unruly tots. Ursa dusted her hands off and tucked them back in the sleeves of her royal robes. She turned to Katara and gave her a slight nod in greeting.

Suddenly aware and embarrassed of her role within the palace, Katara quickly returned greeting with a deeper curtsy. Wordlessly, Ursa motioned for Katara to join her on in the training yard.

"Umm…wow." Confessed the Water Bender, "I've never seen them go at it like that before."

"It's on of your nation's mottos: To self improve."

Katara grinned nervously, wringing her hands, "Yeah….makes me feel kind of a slacker in regards to my own bending skills."

"Nonsense." Said Ursa, "You fight with grace, strength and style. You've proved to the world that Water Bending is a serious art not just confined to healing. Zuko's told me stories of how he, you, and dear little Toph used to train the Avatar."

Katara shrugged, "But that was then. And I wasn't trying to hurt Aang." Ursa picked up on the unspoken end of Katara's sentence,

"And you thought Zuko and Azula were going to kill each other and I was just going to let them." It wasn't a question, more of a statement. Ursa smiled at her,

"I understand how different it is living in a foreign culture. What some might consider brutal, we call it our way of life. Besides you don't see mindless fights breaking out in the streets do you?"

"No. No! I didn't mean to say that…"

Ursa laughed, "It's alright dear. The world has thought of us as monsters and I intend to change that. Starting with you…" She gave Katara a kindly look, "If you'll let me."

"Of course, Lady…"

"Call me Ursa."

"Of course…Ursa."

Straightening to her full height which was considerable, Ursa clapped her hands with an excited expression, "Alright, let's start now."

"Eh?" Katara blinked as Ursa got into a seemingly slight and delicate fighting stance with heavy robes, crown and all.

"What? Now? Fight?" Katara chuckled nervously.

Ursa loosened her stance to wag a finger at Katara, "You need to learn what it's like to be a Fire National. What better way than to understand?" She got back into stance motioning for Katara to do the same.

The Water Bender blinked.

Once.

Twice.

This was insane!

She wasn't going to fight the Lady Dowager of the Fire Nation.

That's just crazy talk.

Katara took in Ursa's genuine smile and kindly features.

"_Well…what could it hurt?"_ She thought to herself, uncorking her water skin. Bending the water around her, letting it flow around her like a living scarf, _"This might be just what I need to relieve a little work stress and tension."_

"Good." Said Ursa immediately tightening her stance, her upturned hands, usually seen painting, writing poetry or fussing over her son and daughter, suddenly palmed blazing gouts of purplish-blue flames,

"Let's begin."

Meet Katara the proverbial deer in head lights with a single repeating thought,

"_Oh dear."_

Life in the Fire Nation.

This was going to be quite the experience, eh Katara?

* * *

**End.**

A sort of follow through with Fight Club, now retitled: Training Day, an old action based fic I've posted and taken down before and just put up again.

Being the whore that I am, I decided to make that one part of the World Tour Avatar meta-world.

Anyway, this fic and the other one are Michael Bay fics. All action and not much else.


End file.
